Image for post
Image for post

And I lived my life believing I wasn’t good enough and my poor choices reected my belief.

This used to be my prison.

Always wondering what others thought of me. The way they said something or didn’t say something, the message or email they sent. I could create a whole story of why they hated me, were angry or upset at me and why I clearly wasn’t good enough and that’s why they didn’t like me.

It was like I had a crystal ball and I knew exactly what they thought about me and of course, according to me, they hated me. …


Image for post
Image for post

I’m triggered daily — some big some small some meh

But Triggers are Your Responsibility

Your Reaction to Your Triggers is Your Responsibility

Healing Your Triggers is Your Responsibility

It is impossible to expect everyone to use language that you feel is appropriate or behave impeccably or respond in a way that suits you — not feasible.

Triggers are individual and personal. There is no way in hell that anyone can be aware of all your triggers and now how to behave around you.

Yes, blatant hurtful words and actions are not acceptable. …


Image for post
Image for post
Deciding to Leave is Tough But It is the Best Decision You Will Ever Make

And the best decision you will ever make.

The single most important decision that any woman experiencing abuse will make is the decision to leave or stay. Deciding to leave is tough. You may have financial worries or anxious thoughts about how you will manage.

Your self-worth and confidence is at its lowest point; battered by your partner and his continued negative commentary on your ability, your looks, and your value. You feels embarrassed to reach out to family and friends to help and support in your quest for freedom. …


7 warning signs he’s truly a mean-spirited d!ck

Image for post
Image for post

These are the warning signs that I wish I had paid attention to when I started dating the man. These are the warning signs of an abusive, mean-spirited man. They seem like love, attention, and devotion but they are truly signs of possessiveness, extreme jealousy, isolation, domination and control.

In the beginning I could have used the power of my voice to say “There is no way in hell that I will allow someone to treat me like a piece of crap.” That would have ended the relationship before I was subjected to intense emotional and physical abuse. …


Take Time to Simply Listen

Image for post
Image for post
Hang your phone on the wall and leave it there

Mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment, on purpose, without judgment. When we are mindful, we are fully engaged with the life around us and within us, with focus, awareness and acceptance.

How can you possibly engage and communicate with real people including yourself if your neck is bent toward the ground and your eyes are focused on your phone? How can you connect with nature and her magnificence if she goes unnoticed?

Drop the phone and Live in the Moment. The amazing benefits include reduced anxiety and depression, improved attention, increased happiness, greater self-awareness and self-compassion, improved health and immune functioning, and many more. …


Oh, it’s a filthy word. It’s a word that is short and pudgy. Only three letters that will keep you stuck in your rut forever.

Image for post
Image for post

W.H.Y. = Three small letters that create one small depression enhancing word. A word that creates a never-ending loop.

When you are stuck asking yourself WHY questions, you are stuck creating Excuses.

Fact — the only answer to a Why question is an excuse.

When you are in an unhealthy relationship, it is very easy to get trapped in the why loop. You’re looking for an answer but it doesn’t exist. …

About

Susan Ball

Recovery After Abuse blossomed from my own abusive relationships. All women are entitled to live free, fulfilled, fearless. www.recoveryafterabuse.ca

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store